Monday, April 25, 2011

Alone is Where the Heart Is.

So there's this thing called "Twitter" that I used to mock the crap out of but now am kind of into- (feel free to follow me @arlainat) and I follow all kinds of random people including two Sylvia Plaths (although she is- er dead).


One "person" I totally follow and which never fails to impress me or shape my day or otherwise cheer me up (I mean let's face it, being a writer is effing depressing) is @quotes4writers.

I love it. I do not, however, have deep or kind feelings for Martin Amis, but he's a smart
fellow at least and I have to give him some credit of some sort, at least for saying this:

"The first thing that distinguishes a writer is that he is most alive when alone."

I read that and it was all lightning bolts and mermaids singing opera and stomach flipping excitement because, yeah. It's so freaking true.

I am, sadly, MOST ALIVE, when alone. Not happiest, most content, cheerful, balanced, stable, etc. MOST ALIVE. Like now for instance, just tippity tapping away on my old blog here, the house is silent, and child-free, a tepid mug of almond milk (don't even- it's something I'm trying) cappuccino at my elbow I am buzzing with aliveness.

Even the exercise I like-- swimming, Bikram (love of my life) Yoga, aerobics at home to a Crunch VHS from 1999- are all, really, for all intents and purposes- solitary activities where, while doing them I feel--- wait for it--- MOST ALIVE.

Having said all this please do not call social services, I still adore people and parties, and companionship and etc. I'm not becoming Howard Hughes.

But I would always rather be alone.

Because it is when I feel MOST ALIVE.

Am I insane?

If the answer is yes, keep it to yourself.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

I

want

to

be

a

l

o

n

e.

xx

4 comments:

J. Allen Fielder said...

You may not realize how much I needed this tonight. I'm going through some very---I don't know what to call it---just want to be alone.

Thanks for making me feel this is ok.

Jeanie said...

Ahhhh Arlaina. Thank you for sharing such a lightning bolt of reality.

How true.

Genius statement made by a man I really know nothing about. Genius all the same.

It's at the loneliest moments that inspiration and creativity really strike.

Arthur said...

Have you caught any of the articles in the Atlantic about introversion over the past few years?

The original essay, in 2003:
Caring For Your Introvert

And then some responses in 2006:
Introverts of the World, Unite!
The Introversy Continues

A lot of similar sentiments...

Arlaina said...

Thanks Arthur :) Caring for your introvert is a lot easier than caring for, say, a Great Dane, or your alcoholic extroverted Aunt Rachel. x