There is a bakery in my neighborhood called Gideon's that has gotten into the coffee biz. Lest you forget, there are RULES for drinking coffee in the Heights.
- MILK is kept in the REFRIGERATOR, PLEASE PUT IT BACK when FINISHED. THANK YOU
- Do NOT pour any type of liquid into the garbage. Thank you for your assistance.
- ATTENTION! NO REFILLS
- NOBODY, BUT THE EMPLOYEES OF GIDEON'S, CAN TOUCH THE COFFEE MACHINE. ~THANK YOU
I have dreams about what went down there with the senior citizen clientele that warranted such excessive, yet oddly polite, signage. I'm thinking Barfly-esque, ear-ripping brawls over creamer, decaf, and inappropriate touching of the coffee machine. The punctuation, emphatic capitalization, and overall tone help transcend their function to art. Behold! ~THANK YOU~