No, No, No, THANK YOU.

There is a bakery in my neighborhood called Gideon's that has gotten into the coffee biz. Lest you forget, there are RULES for drinking coffee in the Heights.

1. MILK is kept in the REFRIGERATOR, PLEASE PUT IT BACK when FINISHED. THANK YOU
2. Do NOT pour any type of liquid into the garbage. Thank you for your assistance.
3. ATTENTION! NO REFILLS
4. NOBODY, BUT THE EMPLOYEES OF GIDEON'S, CAN TOUCH THE COFFEE MACHINE. ~THANK YOU

I have dreams about what went down there with the senior citizen clientele that warranted such excessive, yet oddly polite, signage. I'm thinking Barfly-esque, ear-ripping brawls over creamer, decaf, and inappropriate touching of the coffee machine. The punctuation, emphatic capitalization, and overall tone help transcend their function to art. Behold! ~THANK YOU~